二九文学

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第76章（第1页）

“Myexcellentfatherdiedaboutfiveyearsago;andhisattachmenttoMr.Wickhamwastothelastsosteady，thatinhiswillheparticularlyrecommendedittome，topromotehisadvancementinthebestmannerthathisprofessionmightallow—andifhetookorders，desiredthatavaluablefamilylivingmightbehisassoonasitbecamevacant.Therewasalsoalegacyofonethousandpounds.Hisownfatherdidnotlongsurvivemine，andwithinhalfayearfromtheseevents，Mr.Wickhamwrotetoinformmethat，havingfinallyresolvedagainsttakingorders，hehopedIshouldnotthinkitunreasonableforhimtoexpectsomemoreimmediatepecuniaryadvantage，inlieuofthepreferment，bywhichhecouldnotbebenefited.Hehadsomeintention，headded，ofstudyingthelaw，andImustbeawarethattheinterestofonethousandpoundswouldbeaveryinsufficientsupporttherein.Iratherwished，thanbelievedhimtobesincere;but，atanyrate，wasperfectlyreadytoaccedetohisproposal.IknewthatMr.Wickhamoughtnottobeaclergyman;thebusinesswasthereforesoonsettled—heresignedallclaimtoassistanceinthechurch，wereitpossiblethathecouldeverbeinasituationtoreceiveit，andacceptedinreturnthreethousandpounds.Allconnectionbetweenusseemednowdissolved.IthoughttooillofhimtoinvitehimtoPemberley，oradmithissocietyintown.IntownIbelievehechieflylived，buthisstudyingthelawwasamerepretence，andbeingnowfreefromallrestraint，hislifewasalifeofidlenessanddissipation.ForaboutthreeyearsIheardlittleofhim;butonthedeceaseoftheincumbentofthelivingwhichhadbeendesignedforhim，heappliedtomeagainbyletterforthepresentation.Hiscircumstances，heassuredme，andIhadnodifficultyinbelievingit，wereexceedinglybad.Hehadfoundthelawamostunprofitablestudy，andwasnowabsolutelyresolvedonbeingordained，ifIwouldpresenthimtothelivinginquestion—ofwhichhetrustedtherecouldbelittledoubt，ashewaswellassuredthatIhadnootherpersontoprovidefor，andIcouldnothaveforgottenmyreveredfathersintentions.Youwillhardlyblamemeforrefusingtocomplywiththisentreaty，orforresistingeveryrepetitiontoit.Hisresentmentwasinproportiontothedistressofhiscircumstances—andhewasdoubtlessasviolentinhisabuseofmetoothersasinhisreproachestomyself.Afterthisperiodeveryappearanceofacquaintancewasdropped.HowhelivedIknownot.Butlastsummerhewasagainmostpainfullyobtrudedonmynotice.

“ImustnowmentionacircumstancewhichIwouldwishtoforgetmyself，andwhichnoobligationlessthanthepresentshouldinducemetounfoldtoanyhumanbeing.Havingsaidthusmuch，Ifeelnodoubtofyoursecrecy.Mysister，whoismorethantenyearsmyjunior，waslefttotheguardianshipofmymothersnephew，ColonelFitzwilliam，andmyself.Aboutayearago，shewastakenfromschool，andanestablishmentformedforherinLondon;andlastsummershewentwiththeladywhopresidedoverit，toRamsgate;andthitheralsowentMr.Wickham，undoubtedlybydesign;forthereprovedtohavebeenaprioracquaintancebetweenhimandMrs.Younge，inwhosecharacterweweremostunhappilydeceived;andbyherconnivanceandaid，hesofarrecommendedhimselftoGeorgiana，whoseaffectionateheartretainedastrongimpressionofhiskindnesstoherasachild，thatshewaspersuadedtobelieveherselfinlove，andtoconsenttoanelopement.Shewasthenbutfifteen，whichmustbeherexcuse;andafterstatingherimprudence，Iamhappytoadd，thatIowedtheknowledgeofittoherself.Ijoinedthemunexpectedlyadayortwobeforetheintendedelopement，andthenGeorgiana，unabletosupporttheideaofgrievingandoffendingabrotherwhomshealmostlookeduptoasafather，acknowledgedthewholetome.YoumayimaginewhatIfeltandhowIacted.Regardformysisterscreditandfeelingspreventedanypublicexposure;butIwrotetoMr.Wickham，wholefttheplaceimmediately，andMrs.Youngewasofcourseremovedfromhercharge.Mr.Wickhamschiefobjectwasunquestionablymysistersfortune，whichisthirtythousandpounds;butIcannothelpsupposingthatthehopeofrevenginghimselfonmewasastronginducement.Hisrevengewouldhavebeencompleteindeed.

“This，madam，isafaithfulnarrativeofeveryeventinwhichwehavebeenconcernedtogether;andifyoudonotabsolutelyrejectitasfalse，youwill，Ihope，acquitmehenceforthofcrueltytowardsMr.Wickham.Iknownotinwhatmanner，underwhatformoffalsehoodhehadimposedonyou;buthissuccessisnotperhapstobewonderedat.Ignorantasyoupreviouslywereofeverythingconcerningeither，detectioncouldnotbeinyourpower，andsuspicioncertainlynotinyourinclination.

“Youmaypossiblywonderwhyallthiswasnottoldyoulastnight;butIwasnotthenmasterenoughofmyselftoknowwhatcouldoroughttoberevealed.Forthetruthofeverythinghererelated，IcanappealmoreparticularlytothetestimonyofColonelFitzwilliam，who，fromournearrelationshipandconstantintimacy，and，stillmore，asoneoftheexecutorsofmyfatherswill，hasbeenunavoidablyacquaintedwitheveryparticularofthesetransactions.Ifyourabhorrenceofmeshouldmakemyassertionsvalueless，youcannotbepreventedbythesamecausefromconfidinginmycousin;andthattheremaybethepossibilityofconsultinghim，Ishallendeavourtofindsomeopportunityofputtingthisletterinyourhandsinthecourseofthemorning.Iwillonlyadd，Godblessyou.